Me: 30-year-old female with a generally positive outlook on life, living alone, no piercing, zero tattoos, one car, one cat, and one (slightly used) vagina.

If you want the comfort of beautiful lies and ego-pleasing deception, then I am not the lass for you. I am a very straightforward lady who is not afraid to speak her mind, especially when my man doesn't know how to give me the pleasure I deserve.

I am nothing but a horny granny wanting to have fresh meat down her throat. I've always been horny ever since I was young. Now that I am a lot older the burning lust inside me is only getting stronger.

The most important thing for me now is having someone who can show me how to have a good time. I don't give a fuck about having a man who will live with me for the rest of my life. There are only a few years left in my tank, so I want to spend it in ...

I prefer beer over wine. Even a sophisticated-looking lady like me loves a good pint along with her fish and chips. Never could go wrong with a classic. Also, wouldn't go wrong with shagging a lady who has plenty of sexual experience.