If you want to taste the best fish and chips in town, then you should please me first because I am the one who cooks it. I may not be great in bed, but I am sure as hell I am one of the best when it comes in the kitchen.

I think I baked just about every flavour of pie there is on this planet by being the model housewife. The best pie does not involve an oven though. The recipe includes a dashing lad's dipstick, a bed-- though not necessarily, and my aching cunt.

Now that I am a lot older, I realized the importance of having a man who will spend the rest of his life with you. It's quite depressing that I don't have someone to help me out every time I feel lonely and horny.

In case you are looking for a lady who can grind so well in your face for a whole night, then I suggest that you stop searching already because I'm going to volunteer myself to you. I am good at riding and grinding to the point that you'll get addict...

Whenever my daughter brings around a bloke, he would always end up tied to one of my bedposts. I am separated, nor do I really have plans of inviting them to bed-- they just come around on their own. I sometimes feel guilty but I make sure to punish ...